This We Believe

Separated by Differences, United by Beliefs

Self Determinism

on February 23, 2015

Self determinism is what helps define people. People use it to make everyday choices in their lives. What college to attend, what type of friends to make, basically, what type of person to become. Self determinism can either be a positive or negative aspect, depending on one’s outlook on life. The more aware people become of the decisions they are making, the more control they have of making a better future for themselves.

I first became aware of self determinism when I was 11 and my parents were going through a divorce. I was aware of certain choices my parents had made and the consequences they had. So I developed an ocd type of attention towards the choices I made. But since I was so young when I went through all of this, the ocd like thinking I developed did not become permanent. I

t wasn’t until a few months ago that self determinism really began to play a huge role in my life. I remember the day very clearly. It was my second day of exams and I had texted my friend to get together later in the day. She casually replied, “sorry I can’t I’m in the hospital…I tried to kill myself”. I was shocked. It was completely unexpected and I couldn’t stop thinking about how casually she had told me, like it was no big deal. I began to replay old memories of us in my head, trying to see any signs I had missed. I began to get very sad and guilt ridden for not being able to have helped my friend. They guilt was overwhelming. Then I realized I had a choice to make. I could either continue to feel sad and sorry for myself, continue the negative outlook I was having -or- I could accept what had happened and that the only helpful thing I could be doing for my friend was to have a positive mindset in order to be there for her in the present..

I could tell the dramatic change in my mood from consciously choosing how I wanted to feel. I wasn’t looking for reasons to be sad or happy anymore. I was able to wake up and decide if I wanted to feel good and happy that day, I would. Simple as that. Now I know I cannot control how I feel 24/7, that’s just unrealistic. But I do have a a huge say in the matter.I think too often I feel overwhelmed with everything in the world that I cannot control. Children starving, people hurting, and death. But it helps to be in control of how I’m going to handle those horrible things and situations and how I’m going to let them control my life. Being self determinant has helped me grow, and continue to grow into the person I like. A person I want to become, not just what life made me. For this realization I am eternally grateful. Self determinism is what I believe.

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