This We Believe

Separated by Differences, United by Beliefs

Grandmothers Know Best

on February 24, 2014

I believe that each moment, whether they be extraordinary or mundane, should be appreciated for what they are: a unique space of time that will never again exist. I view moments in this particular fashion because of one I had with my grandmother.  While sitting in her small but comfortable living room, my grandma forever changed my outlook on the moments that make up my life.

On this day, I was seriously questioning the decisions I was making as a mother. I turned to my grandma and asked her, “Grandma, what decisions did you make as a mother that you regret the most?” My grandmother turned and looked at me with her no nonsense gaze and answered, “Nothing”. “Nothing?” I asked, sincerely confused. “Not a thing,” she insisted. As I was wondering how this could possibly be true, she reached over and grabbed my hand and said, “Carly, I don’t regret a damned thing I did while I was raising my kids, because I did what I thought was right at the time. If you always do what you think is in the best interest of the moment, you’re not doing the wrong thing”.

I was genuinely surprised by my grandmother’s perspective and I thought about what she had said to me quite a bit after that day. Finally it dawned on me exactly what grandma had meant.

First, I had to ask myself, what is a moment? Because that part of her statement stuck with me, the “in the best interest of the moment”. Life is nothing but a series of moments, played out over and over again. And though they repeat, they are never constant. Each moment is unique. And every moment is a brand new opportunity to begin anew. For me, this means I won’t be wasting time on regrets and “what if’s”. Instead I’ll be striving to make the next series of moments better than the last.

At the time, I took what my grandmother said to me as advice on how to be a better parent. However, the more I thought about it the more I realized that my grandmother was telling me to take those moments and live them the best that I could. To not regret how I used those moments because they are gone and are never coming back. And while that is certainly excellent parenting advice, it is also a life altering way to view the time one has been given.

Many of us spend too much of our lives worrying, stressing, and regretting. Many spend so much time on those activities that they are failing to appreciate the details, to stop and smell the roses, as the old saying goes.

Thus I believe each moment should be enjoyed and appreciated.  Rejoice in the everyday and the once in a lifetime. Individual moments are unique, and appreciating them will help each of us savor the moments that make up our lives.

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2 responses to “Grandmothers Know Best

  1. veganmd2be says:

    The ending is wonderful! After reading your essay on Friday, it made me stop and think a few times “Here’s a moment..”. I filed them away in my memory! Thank you for that 🙂 Beautiful story.

    • carlymcc says:

      Thank you so much! It really meant a lot to me to write it since my grandma passed away last April. It’s kind of a tribute to her, you know? I’m glad her words can help others.

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